


Until I See You Again

by ChibiMoon



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Adventure, F/M, Gen, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Love, Mutual Pining, Mystery, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-17
Updated: 2017-08-22
Packaged: 2018-11-01 21:45:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 13,932
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10930656
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChibiMoon/pseuds/ChibiMoon
Summary: Despite being human again, Alphonse Elric is still surprisingly lonely, a fact made more apparent as his brother and Winry slowly become an item before his eyes. Which was fine, until his one dear friend seemed to fall off the face of the planet altogether. Now Al wonders what happened, what he did wrong, and what the heck do you have to do to get a girlfriend?!





	1. Heartbroken

**Author's Note:**

> This really is such a silly premise but also one i really wanted to write (and like 0 people will read im sure lmao). I feel like Mei and Al must have seen eachother at least ONCE before he was like "LOL IM GOING TO XING BAI" so i love coming up with different scenerios of how and why. i also just really love the trope of Al really wanting a girlfriend! :'D

It was early in the morning over a sleepy little town called Resembool, the sun still cresting over the mountains. So far the only citizens awake were the bakers preparing their ovens for the day, herders rounding up their flocks of sheep, and a young blonde man who was jogging up a long lane that ended at a house atop a hill. The figure paused at the mailbox to check for any mail. Panting, and sweating, he came to a stop as a black and white dog ran up to greet him and pet the excited dog on the head as he caught his breath.

“‘Morning, Den,” Al laughed as the dog followed him back inside the house where the smell of breakfast was beginning to waft from the kitchen.

A tiny old lady was standing near the oven as coffee brewed on the stove.

“Good morning, Granny,” Al greeted the old lady Pinako as she turned around with a slight look of surprise. 

“You're getting faster, Al; when you first started jogging in the mornings breakfast had usually grown cold by the time you got back.”

Alphonse both grinned and sweat dropped. “Yes, well, I guess I find the idea of letting good food go to waste a big motivator.”

Pinako laughed.

Alphonse rifled through the mail with an expectant expression but when he found nothing was addressed to him he frowned.

“Still nothing?” Pinako asked curiously.

“Yeah. Still nothing,” Alphonse replied with a sheepish grin. Then, changing the subject, asked, “Do you need help with anything?”

“I've got it. You go wash up and I'll finish up here. I'll give you the task of waking up the Tiny Tempest and the Night Owl.”

Alphonse grimaced but excused himself to take a shower as Pinako suggested.

\---

Steam filled the bathroom as Al washed the sweat off his skin. Despite being in his own body for over a year now, he still marveled at the feel of warm water on his skin, the way it made him flush. It felt so amazing, he wanted to stay here forever- though, he had learned the hard way that if he used all the hot water, he would be tasting Winry's wrench. 

Roughly a year and a half had passed since the Promised Day and Alphonse Elric was finally back at a healthy weight. He had spent the majority of the last year focusing on eating well and muscle training and finally he felt all his hard work was paying off. Toweling off, he took a minute to observe himself in the mirror.

Blonde hair, cut short and neat, bangs styled to the left. Bright gold eyes that were always curious and usually a bit wary. He had grown like a weed once his body had begun getting proper nutrients and he and Ed often had quarrels over who was actually the taller of the two. He was fit with toned-but-still-developing muscles. He wasn't quite where he wanted to be physically yet but it seemed apparent that while his face resembled that of his mother, his build was going to be more like that of his father. 

Alphonse observed himself in the mirror a little longer, taking in all the minute changes, glad that his cheeks and collar bones no longer stuck out from being malnourished. After having to look at the same, expressionless never changing face for so long, watching this face that changed almost daily still took some getting used to. He watched as that face changed into a pleased smile.

He was back. He was alive. All was well.

Remembering the task at hand, that smile fell. 

Time to wake the Sleeping Beauties.

\---

Edward was first. Not because it was easier but because he needed to get dressed anyway and he and his older brother shared a room.

“Brother,” Al said as he tossed his running clothes in the hamper and pulled on jeans and a sweater. “It's time to get up.”

A yellow haired pile of blankets shifted and mumbled something in reply. Al smiled and walked over to the bed. It always boiled down to rude awakenings for his brother. He grabbed two fistfuls of the blanket and yanked it up, revealing a disgruntled, half asleep, tousled haired Edward.

“Waaaaah,” Edward whined, squinting at the sunlight that filtered through the curtains. “Quit it, you ass. I'm sleeping.”

“Nope! Time to get ready for the day.”

Ed's arms waved feebly in the air for the blanket Al kept just out of his reach. Finally he _hmphed_ and curled up in his sheets instead as if that won the battle.

“Come on, brother. Breakfast is almost ready.”

“So what,” Ed mumbled into his cocoon of sheets. “You're gonna eat all of it before I get any, anyway.”

Al’s eye twitched in irritation. He had a rebuttal about going without eating for almost five years but instead got a wicked idea and brought his hands together. 

“All right, if you wish to stay in bed all day, so be it.”

Minutes later he was high tailing it out of their room followed by his brothers expletives as Ed thrashed in the tightly bound blanket burrito that had been transmuted around him.

Alphonse stopped outside of Winry’s door and knocked lightly a few times until he heard a sleepy, “Come in.”

Al cracked the door slowly, making sure Winry was properly dressed before fully entering her room. He found her sitting up in a pile of purple blankets, her long hair a tousled mess, rubbing sleep from her heavily bagged eyes. 

“What is Ed screaming about this early,” she muttered as her vision cleared. “How am I supposed to sleep with all that yelling? Doesn't he know I was up all night already.”

Alphonse was the picture of innocence as he answered, “Oh, nothing. He just doesn't want to get up. Breakfast is ready.”

“Thanks, Al.” Winry smiled and rose and he noticed she had a smudge of oil on her cheek.

“You, um, have something on your face, Winry.”

She checked herself in her vanity and frowned.

“Crap. I was so beat after working in that rushed custom order I completely forgot to wash up.”

“Try not to work yourself to death, Winry. You need to sleep sometimes.”

“I know,” she replied with a sleepy smile. “I'll be down after a shower.”

“Okay, I'll have your coffee waiting when you get out.”

“Thanks!” Winry called as he saw himself out of her room. Then, louder and irritated, “You better not have used all the hot water!”

On his way back down the hall, he practically tripped over Ed who was inchworming his way out their room, still trapped in his prison of sheets. 

“C’mon, Al, let me out,” his older brother complained then whined, defeated. “I gotta pee!”

\---

Eventually, Ed was free and dressed and he and Al were sitting at the kitchen table. True to his word, Al had Winry’s coffee prepared for her and handed it to her as she came into the room toweling off her hair just as Ed was biting into a biscuit.

“Thanks, Al,” she said behind a stifled yawn, cradling the warm mug in her hands. “How was your run?”

“Good. My time is getting better.”

“Oh, yeah?” Ed piped up, pouring himself some coffee and stabbing at a sausage link. “We should probably have another sparring match soon, then.”

“Yeah!” Al agreed just as Winry said, “Hell, no!”

They both balked and she glowered, stabbing her fork in Ed’s direction. “You _just_ got your leg fixed again, I'm not letting you break it in another fight!”

Ed's eye twitched at the accusation. “It only broke cause I fell off the roof cleaning the gutters like you asked me to.”

“So it's _my_ fault?”

Pinako and Alphonse both nonchalantly sipped at their coffee and exchanged a knowing glance.

“Bickering already,” Pinako muttered into her cup. 

“Must be a new record,” Al agreed.

Eventually their argument ended, as it always did, and the conversation turned to something more appropriate for the hour. They talked about the weather, news of the Ishvalan repairs, when Winry planned on heading back to Rush Valley this time, and the like. They had all really become like a small family ever since the Elrics had moved in.

Soon the dishes were cleared and they all began to plan out their day and divide up which chores needed to be done. 

Winry was washing dishes as Ed dried them, then passing them to Al to put away in the cabinets.

“Ed if you don't mind would you mind chopping more wood for the furnace? We’re running low faster than I thought we wood.”

“Hm? Yeah, sure,” Ed mumbled in reply; despite all their bickering Ed could never say no to any request Winry made of him. 

“Thanks. I've gotta get back to my automail soon and- oh, crap!” Winry turned to Al as he was finishing putting away the dishes. “Al, I know you've already been out today, but can I get you to run into town and pick up a few things for me? I meant to get some oil and vegetables that Granny wanted but completely forgot when this rush order came in.”

“Sure thing, Winry,” Al said pleasantly, already tugging his shoes back on. “I don't mind.”

“Thanks,” Winry replied, hand on head, looking irritated and ashamed of herself. She rubbed tiredly at her eyes. “I can't believe I forgot to go yesterday after telling Granny I would.” 

Al was halfway out the door when he glanced back and caught sight of Ed and Winry in the kitchen. Ed had stepped in a little closer, resting his hand on Winry’s forearm.

“You gotta remember to take it easy sometimes, Win,” he heard his older brother saying in uncharacteristically soft tones. He saw the way Winry’s look softened- this had been happening more and more often. Winry had some reply but Alphonse stepped out before he caught it.

He had a wistful smile about him as he left. He had known Winry and his brother would eventually get together. They had loved each other for years and for a long time Al felt he was the only one who had seen it. And ever since moving into the Rockbell household, the two stubborn teens had been awkwardly dancing about these feelings without really bringing it up. 

It got so infuriating that Alphonse had half a mind to lock them both in a room and transmute the lock off until they confessed but he knew that would likely just result in someone getting murdered (and he wasn't so sure it wouldn't be him).

On his walk to town, Al reflected on a lot of things. His good mood from earlier that morning had been severely dampened.

It wasn't that he was jealous of Ed and Winry. Sure, there had been a time when he was younger in which he had entertained the notion of Winry being his girlfriend- but being trapped in a suit of armor had all but wiped away that chance of ever happening. Girls didn't like scary suits of armor, no matter how properly they acted.

The bell jingled above the local shop as Al entered and the shop owner called out a friendly greeting. Alphonse was a very familiar face around town. He set about gathering up the things Winry had asked for, picking up a couple extra snacks for himself. 

One of the main things Alphonse had looked forward to while in the suit of armor was getting to eat good food again. His ravenous sweet tooth was one of the main reasons he was so diligent in his physical training. He never passed up a chance to eat something tasty and always grabbed an extra tin of cookies or apples or candy at the store.

There was a small group of girls his age gathered at the counter, reading magazines, talking in hushed tones. He recognized them as girls he had gone to school with as a child but none of them tried to greet him as the shopkeeper did.

The girl behind the counter that rang up his items was the shopkeeper's daughter, another girl he recognized from childhood. 

Al gave her a genuine smile and said, “Good morning, Daisy. How've you been?”

Daisy, a pretty but shy girl, flinched a bit and mumbled what Al thought was “hello.” She didn't try to continue the conversation and quickly handed him back his items. That made his spirits drop. Daisy had been one of the kind ones who had even come to visit him with her parents when they heard the Elrics were back and Al was unwell. He had even asked her out a couple times since regaining his strength, but lately she seemed to be avoiding him. All things considered, he couldn't blame her.

The girls at the counter were whispering and he was pretty certain they were talking about him but he tried not to acknowledge it. On his way out he heard the girls burst into laughter.

If his mood had been bad before, it was black on his way home. 

Of all the things Al had looked forward to, there was one thing that stood above the rest that remained elusive and just out of reach. He had wanted to sleep again, and got almost eight hours a night. He had wanted to eat again, and was constantly asking Winry to make new exciting dishes. He had wanted to feel like a true, human being again and loved everyday to the fullest feeling and breathing and just being.

But, above all else, Alphonse Elric…. _wanted a girlfriend._

He sighed as he unlocked the front door and set down the paper bag from the shop.

All the adults who had known him as a child were ecstatic to see the Elrics back and spending time about town. Even though there were slews of rumors abounding about the two, most of the men and women who knew their parents were just glad to see the two boys happy and healthy.

Sadly, the same couldn't be said of kids their age. Most everyone in town knew of their mysterious disappearance, though few knew any true details about what happened after October 3rd, 1911. But everyone knew that Alphonse Elric had taken to wearing a hulking suit of armor for four years and then mysteriously reappeared looking as though he had suffered from some mysterious disease. Rumors flew and people talked and despite his charming demeanor and good looks, Alphonse Elric had been branded as a freak by people he had once called friends.

“Brother? Winry?” Al called, hoping to drop off the oil he had picked up for Winry. The house seemed deserted. Granny was probably around back in the garden, and his brother had probably started the chores he was assigned. Al figured he would find Winry in her workshop but he couldn't hear any of her tools which was unnerving.

 _Maybe she went to take a nap_ , he thought. Winry had a horrible habit of binging on automail repairs and designs. 

The door to her workshop was slightly ajar and so he gently pushed it open, figuring he could just drop the supplies off- but quickly stepped back again, hopefully unnoticed.

Killing two birds with one stone, Alphonse had stumbled across both Winry and his brother. Except Winry was most definitely not working on Ed's automail. She was pressed up against her work table, Edward stepped in close, one hand tipping her chin upwards as their lips met in a deep kiss.

Al went red and quickly backed away, quietly. He set Winry's oil on the floor by the door and quietly headed off outside.

There was a part of him that was ecstatic and also relieved- _finally_ they realized they liked each other. But another part of him was… well, not really angry. Annoyed? Jealous? Maybe a bit of both. He was happy for his brother to have a girl like Winry but it really sucked that he had to bear the brunt of being a social outcast all on his own.

He rolled up his sleeves and picked up the axe that lay by the woodpile and decided to expend some of his frustrations by splitting firewood. The warmth and strain that shot through the muscles in his back reminded him of all the things he had to be grateful for and it definitely helped take the edge off his foul mood.

Despite his tinge of jealousy he also felt a bit guilty. He knew Ed and Winry had been tiptoeing around each other since they got back and he knew part of it was for his sake: neither one of them would feel right hooking up while Alphonse could barely stand and still had a lot of healing to go. He would have to be sure to let Ed know he was excited for them and not to feel guilty for anything. 

“Hey, Al!”

Alphonse turned to see Edward jogging towards him from the house.

“When did you get back?” He asked as he pulled up beside his younger brother. 

“A while ago. I figured I'd do this for you, brother.”

“That's nice. Why?” Ed looked almost suspicious.

Alphonse gave him a knowing smirk. “You, um, seemed busy.”

The shade of red Ed’s face turned was highly reminiscent of the red coat he used to wear. 

“Oh- you, uh- saw that huh?”

Edward was flustered and embarrassed but also looked tense, anticipating what Al might say. Al just laughed and said, “Took you long enough. I never thought you'd kiss her.”

“Yeah,” Ed muttered, letting out the breath he was holding. He scratched at his cheek and grinned. “I never thought she’d let me.”

“When's the wedding?” Al asked in a teasing manner which got Ed to laugh good naturedly and try to playfully sock his arm.

“Shut up! We’re too young to be thinking about all that.”

“I dunno, Mom was pretty young when she had us. You're going to have your arms full of babies in no time, brother-”

“Shut up!”

He could barely fend off the bodily tackle Ed launched at him and laughed. Just like that they transitioned from talking to sparring. Al was glad to see he no longer got winded like he used to. He was still the better fighter, but sadly, this body wasn't the tireless being he had gotten used to so when they both were panting and out of breath by the end of it, that still took some getting used to.

Ed groaned and lay in the grass. “For all of like six months I was able to beat you. Guess that's gone for good just like my alchemy.”

Al sat down beside him. “Do you still try to do it when you think no one's looking?”

“Yeah,” Ed admitted deadpan, flexing his hands. “I can't believe the amount of crap people have to make _by hand_.”

“Well, hopefully the loss was worth it,” Al said with a slight chuckle. He always felt a bit guilty that his alchemy was unaffected while Ed’s was gone forever.

Ed glanced up from under his messy blonde hair, and smiled at his younger brother. 

“It was.”

\---

After that things noticeably shifted in the house. Alphonse would typically try to spend time with both Ed and Winry seeing as they were his only real friends. But he could easily sense their need for alone time together and more and more often found himself feeling like a third wheel.

It was a stormy day in Resembool and Alphonse was laying on his bed, listening to the thunder rolling in. Ed and Winry were hanging out in Winry's room, and while he had been invited to join them, he got the distinct feeling they would rather be left alone. 

Which was fine.

Except then _he_ really was alone.

It was ironic. Alphonse had spent countless nights alone, where all he wanted was to sleep to pass the lonely hours. He hated that lonesome feeling more than anything. Now, despite being human again, despite being well and safe and happy: he still felt horribly lonely.

Ed and Winry had eachother. Pinako was fun company but still she was like a Grandmother to him. And none of the kids in town seemed to want anything to do with him. Even when he managed to make a new friend he found it oddly laborious- the girls in town weren't interested in hearing about alchemy, which was one of his major interests. And he could never really be himself because he had so much he had to hide. 

You couldn't just tell someone who didn't understand alchemy that you had committed an ultimate taboo and had to pay the penance of being bound to a feeling-less suit of armor that was really a ticking time bomb, all while trying to thwart the evil doings of a power hungry creature from the depths of hell. 

Nope. He was just that weird kid who used to wear that armor.

Al groaned and admonished himself for being so negative. It wasn't like him. He had so much to be happy about- he was home, he and Ed were well and happy. And while some people had died or suffered, they had come to know so many wonderful people over the years. 

Sadly, most of those people were adults with their own lives. Izumi and her husband had been to visit several times since the Promised Day and Al and Ed counted them as family, but beyond that the Elrics had rarely seen any of the amazing people they had met during their journey. Mustang and Hawkeye were busy in the East over seeing the Ishvalan reconstruction, most of the chimeras had taken up normal jobs and were attempting to reestablish their family lives, and he hadn't seen Ling, Lan Fan or Mei since they left for Xing over a year before.

Al reached behind him to a shelf in his headboard and pulled out a little letter box. He had written to quite a few people after the Promised Day, to let them know he was back in his body and would probably be recovering for a while, or had received a lot of letters of well-wishes from those who had been there. Sometimes he read through them again when he was feeling lonely just to remind himself there were still people out there who cared about him and knew all that had happened outside of the sleepy town of Resembool.

He flipped through until he got to a bundle of letters that were written on a sort of parchment rather than plain paper, each envelope stamped in both Amestrian and Xingese. Al frowned. Of all the people who had written to him after the Promised Day, Mei was the only one he had continued to keep in contact with. She had written to him first, checking to see how he was doing, and since then they continued to exchange letters, talking about the daily life in the courts of Xing or Al’s progress as he got stronger again or alchemy in general. 

He knew she spent a lot of time in the Imperial Library studying alchemy and Alkahestry, and anytime she came across something new or noteworthy she would include it in her letters (even though most of the Alkahestry stuff still sounded like gibberish to him, he appreciated the effort). 

Having a friend around his age, who was also enthusiastic about alchemy, to talk to always gave him something to look forward to, especially during the earlier, difficult stages of rehabilitation. Sending letters across the great desert was no easy feat, seeing as they had to wait for merchants and caravans that were planning a journey to send them off. So the space between sending a letter and receiving one was typically several weeks, sometimes even a couple months- which was fine since enough would happen in that time to give Alphonse something new to write about.

Except it had been nearly five months now since the last letter from Mei had come in the mail. Alphonse wasn't sure if something had happened or if he had somehow made the girl mad- but what the heck could he have said in a letter to make her mad enough to stop talking to him altogether?

When he first realized that a letter just wasn't coming, about three months after he sent one off, he was perplexed and tried to write another, thinking maybe the first was lost in the mail. During the fourth month he told himself not to be a creep, surely she was just busy- but he caved and wound up writing one more.

Now, another month had passed and still no word. He flipped through the letters and scanned over them a bit. He reread the first letter she had sent.

 

_Dear Alphonse,_

_This letter should be sealed with a crest of a two headed dragon- If not, assume all that I have written has been seen by another and do not reply. I fear I am being watched and my mail may be tampered with, though this may just prove to be paranoia. Either way, in fear of prying eyes, I will attempt to be discreet._

_We have just made it back to Xing a few days now and Ling is to be appointed crowned heir soon. The Emperor, my father, is not well and we- Ling, Lan Fan and I- had fretted about what he might do with the you-know-what once presented to him. We were forced to tell him the tale of all that happened in Amestris though we tried to leave out many of the specifics: particularly those involved, certain “fathers,” Ling’s friend. We managed to describe the you-know-what without giving away what it is made of. This seemed to sate the Emperor. It was clear he wished to use it to regain his vitality. We made an attempt but it did not prove successful- a tale I will have to describe to you in person one day._

_He seems to be on his deathbed even now as I write. Surely, he will not survive the night, by the time this reaches you I am sure you will have already heard that Ling Yao has been crowned the Emperor._

_Enough about all that. Though crossing the desert was horrible in itself, the worst part was that I was wrought with worry about you and still am to this day. You were not well the last I saw you and I hate that I had to leave in such a rush an-_

_Someone is coming. I have been writing by candlelight so perhaps a serving girl is curious about the light. I must go so as not to rouse suspicions- I do not think the people here truly trust me or Ling yet._

_I hope this letter finds you well, and above all else, finds you at all._

_Until I see you again,_

_Mei_

Al had been startled at the formality of the letter but figured it was due to her upbringing and had quickly penned a reply, reassuring her that he was fine. Over time the letters became less formal and it really seemed like he was talking to a friend. He really enjoyed hearing about how Mei and Ling and Lan Fan were fairing in Xing. He got excited when he saw the dragon sealed envelopes and always felt like his daily life lacked in comparison to that of a princess. 

So when they just stopped coming, it was really disheartening. 

Alphonse frowned and picked up the last one she had written, rereading it to see if anything seemed off or if he had just missed something.

_My dearest Alphonse,_

_I’m so glad to hear you're doing so well! Ling and Lan Fan are happy to hear it as well and send their well wishes. Ling wanted me to have you pass some message on to Edward as well- something about boots and soup? But, whatever, I told him to write his own letter. (Honestly, for someone who was recently crowned emperor he is SO lazy.)_

_Anyway, I have been studying more medicinal application of alkahestry and- I know you said you find this aspect boring, but- I think you would find it interesting how-_

 

Here she had rambled on about some aspects of healing people using the water in their bodies, and while yes, it had been interesting, none of it really made any practical sense to him. Most of the stuff she attempted to teach him about alkahestry through letter was confusing and eventually wound up looking like a foreign language after staring at it too long. But even though he didn't really understand most of it, he still enjoyed her enthusiasm. After all he had been through Al had never given up his faith in alchemy and the potential it had to influence people positively. He and his brother had recently begun musing about their own theories of equivalent exchange and how it could be improved upon- something he had excitedly written to Mei about and expected, in turn, an equally enthusiastic reply.

But that had been almost six months ago now. He and Ed had continued their theorizing about equivalent exchange, about adding yourself to give more than you took, but he hadn't had a chance- or the heart- to attempt to tell Mei more about it. 

His eyes flitted over the letter as if it would reveal something new to him in his 36th read over and sighed when he reached the bottom. As always she signed the same:

_Until I see you again_

His eyes scrunched up as he scrutinized those five words. He had never given them much thought before, writing them off as a simple way to sign off on a letter. But he realized now that he had clung to those words as if they were a promise- he had always assumed somehow, someday he would see Mei again. And the way she wrote to him belied she felt the same. So many times she had begun to describe some facet of Alkahestry and then struck through it with dramatic strokes, and he could practically hear her laugh as he read “ _never mind- I will just have to show you that in person._ ”

In person. He didn't realize how much he had been looking forward to just that, seeing his friend, _in person_ until now when he couldn't even reach her through words.

The rain beat against the windows in a steady rhythm, broken only by a sudden shrill laugh from Winry down the hall, then an angered shout followed by a loud thud. His eye twitched in annoyance, wondering if his brother and Winry would ever find a way to flirt with each other that didn't inflict injury. He told himself when he had a girlfriend he would never do or say anything to upset her or make her mad. 

He frowned and put all of his letters away, then rolled on his side to face the wall. Maybe that was the issue. Maybe he had just built it up all in his mind too much?

Alphonse wasn't dumb. He was good at reading the mood in a room and always very quick to pick up on others emotions around him. It would take an idiot not to notice that the young girl he had tracked half way across the country had developed one heck of a crush on him. And at first he had found it ridiculous- a princess falling for a literal knight in armor? A “knight” who was really just a hollow shell, the shadow of a boy who had overstepped his place in the world?

So at first he ignored it. But, if he was being truly honest with himself, he also really liked it. Being treated like a regular boy with a regular body always made him so giddy in those days so to actually have a _girl_ fall in love with _him_? If he could have smiled or slept in those days Al was sure he would have fallen asleep with a stupid grin on his face just thinking about it.

Now though, when he could sleep and could smile, he found thinking about it just brought a frown to his face and a squirmy sad feeling deep in his chest.

 _She doesn't like you_ , that horrid voice of doubt said in the back of his mind. The same voice that had once convinced him his memories were false and he was just a puppet. _You must not have been what she imagined._

Maybe that was it. Maybe she had expected some gallant, handsome young man to emerge from the armor one day. Not some skeletal, weak boy who could barely stand on his own. Maybe she had grown bored of hearing about his slow progress while she was off making pacts with her surrounding clans and flirting with high born boys that he would never hold a candle to. Maybe-

 _Stop that_ , his voice of reason finally cut in. _No one likes a mope. Whatever her reason is, it's up to her, so get over it._

Alphonse wrapped his arms around a pillow and buried his face into it, trying to focus on the rain and that little voice of reason. Because it was right. There was no point whining about it. If Mei didn't like him, didn't want to talk to him, she wasn't obligated to do so. He had a lot more pressing things to be worried about- his health, his alchemical theories, what he planned to do with his life once he was completely recovered.

But while he tried to focus on all those positive things there was still that cold sickening feeling in his chest. It took him a long time to accept what that feeling was but he finally realized it was the cold, jarring stab of _rejection_. And it hurt.

And it really sucked.

\---  
“Do you really think this is going to work?” 

“Of course!”

The ground was icy and crunched beneath their feet as they walked. The whole landscape was covered in a sheet of ice or mud and most of the trees were scraggly and long dead. He was worried about if their pathetic plan would really work and what would happen to the slums if not. The whole atmosphere was… grim, to say the least. Still, Mei’s positive attitude seemed impervious to their bleak surroundings and that helped lift his spirits.

“Have you ever done anything like this before?” Alphonse asked as he handed the girl a few more markers. 

They were halfway through the field they had planned their attack in. His arms were full of all the little steel markers he had helped transmute from some old scrap metal and he followed as Mei expertly dropped them into perfect pentagrams. 

“Hrmmmm,” she thought, eyes knit together. “Not on this scale. But I'm sure it will work just fine! It really doesn't matter how many daughter circles there are so long as they are close enough to the main lead circle to connect to.”

“You’ll really be able to control them all from one spot? Even if it snows?” He asked with a little trepidation, a little admiration. Al really wished he could pick up on alkahestry a bit faster so he could act as more than just a bodyguard in this harebrained scheme.

“Of course,” Mei replied with a smile that was nothing if not a bit cocky. She quickly dropped the next five markers and sketched a quick connecting star between them then dropped down to place one hand on the transmutation circle. There was a bright flash of light at their feet and then a bright flash of light from about six different circles on the far side of the field as they each erupted in a minor explosion. 

“Oh, that's awesome!” He began, feeling a bit more relieved. Mei beamed at him, proud she could impress him. “I wish I could do that.”

Mei put her hands on her hips and hmmmmed again. “I wonder if you'd be better off starting off with pre-drawn transmutation circles, like these? Their energy is already all mapped out and connecting, so it should be easier to manipulate.”

Alphonse was going to tell her he didn't think he could manipulate an energy source if he couldn't feel it at all, but she looked so hopeful he figured he might as well give it a shot. He shifted most of the steel markers to one hand and attempted to activate the same circle Mei had and… nothing. Of course.

He laughed to himself and Mei sighed. “I don't get it. Alchemy in your country is so weird, Alphonse-sama.”

“You're right,” he replied with a chuckle. “So it's a good thing we have you here.”

Mei's eyes and smile both lit up at that as they continued dropping their markers in the field. Once they were done they headed back to town where a worried Winry scolded them over what all the explosions were about.

-

The moon was rising over the snowy slums and most of his companions were settled in for the night. They had managed to procure some abandoned buildings on the edge of the town and the good people of the village had even donated some blankets and bedding. 

It was probably past eleven or midnight and the typical boredom had set in for Alphonse. There was a small fire that was mostly embers that he was keeping an eye on to help keep his friends from freezing to death- he was glad to have something to do, though it really wasn't much. He found himself staring into the red embers and getting lost in thought more often than not. So when a small voice broke into his reverie with a quiet, “Alphonse-sama?” he practically jumped out of his skin… er, armor.

“Mei, you scared me! What are you doing up?”

She was dressed in her pink pajamas plus her winter coat, rubbing at one eye. “I couldn't sleep. May I sit with you?”

“Of course,” he said even though she had already plopped down next to him. A sleepy looking Xiao Mei hopped off the girl’s shoulder and scampered up to nuzzle Al’s face then curled up there as if to nap.

“Why can't you sleep? Bad dream?”

Mei settled into her typical seiza sitting position, hands in her lap. Al stoked the fire a little bit to give her some warmth. “Hmmm… not exactly.”

“Are you nervous about tomorrow?”

“Kind of,” Mei admitted, eyes knitting together. “I know I can handle all the alkahestry circles just fine, but… I don't want Dr Marco getting hurt, you know?”

“I know,” he agreed. “Or the people in the village.”

Alphonse immediately regretted his words, seeing the pained expression on her face. 

He quickly backtracked.

“I- I mean! Not that there’s anything to worry about! You're going to do great and Dr Marco’s really smart and tough and- and besides! I'll be with you the whole time!”

He didn't know why he expected that last bit to be soothing in any way seeing as his alchemy wouldn't really be helpful in tricking Envy but the girl smiled none the less and thanked him.

After a moment of silence, Mei asked, “So… you really can't sleep?”

“Huh? Oh, no… I can't.”

“Ever?”

“Mm-mmm.”

“Isn't that-...?” She cut herself off but he could tell she was going to say “lonely.” He nodded.

“Yeah, its no fun being the only one awake each night,” he admitted. That little crest fallen look was back on her face so he quickly added, “I'm glad though! That way I can stay up and help protect you while you sleep. And I wouldn't have been able to make it through the snow storm before to find you guys, so it's not all bad! I'm glad I'm able to help protect people, so it's okay if I can't sleep.”

Mei gave him a genuine smile and said, “You really like protecting people don't you, Alphonse-sama?”

“Mm, yeah,” he replied a little bashful, recalling that protecting Mei was exactly how they had met. “I don't like seeing people around me get hurt. Brother and I… Alchemy has hurt a lot of people we know; that's why we try to use it only to help people.”

“I guess that's why I started studying alkahestry, too. To help my people,” Mei said in an off hand way, as if she was just musing aloud with her mind far away. For some reason it was easy to forget that this girl was actually a princess from another country; Alphonse realized then she probably had a lot more people counting on her than he had ever had and wondered how someone so young could shoulder such a heavy burden. 

“You have a lot of people waiting for you back home, huh?”

“Yeah…,” Mei replied in a tiny voice and he couldn't help but wonder if she didn't sound a little bit guilty. She probably felt bad for getting tangled up in Amestrian affairs. “And I'm sure they’re worried about me but… I can't go back without the secret to immortality.” Her small hands clenched in her lap. “They’re all counting on me, I won't be able to face them if I fail.”

Alphonse didn't know what to say to that. He wanted to reassure her that she would somehow discover a true secret of immortality but the whole thing seemed so harebrained and implausible that it was hard not to think she wasn't just risking her life for a pointless cause. Still, he wished there was some way to comfort the girl. He wished he could give her a reassuring smile at least but even that was lost to him. Al hesitated a bit before lifting his hand, as if to give her small reassuring pat on the back but then thought better of it last moment and stopped just before touching her.

“Oh yeah!” She exclaimed and he practically jumped three feet. Her somber mood had apparently cleared up in a flash and was already replaced with the bright, starry eyed look she usually wore. “Alphonse-sama, I meant to ask, since you're from Amestris, have you ever seen the _Etoile Chateau_?”

“The wh… what?” He was thrown off by the sudden change in topic. “I don't know what that is.”

“It's a castle!” She beamed excitedly. “I heard it's really old and known for its Star Tower and it's somewhere in one of your southern cities.”

“Sorry,” he said with a regretful chuckle. “I haven't ever heard of it.”

“Oh well,” she said with a small sigh and polite smile. “I guess I should save sightseeing for later, anyway.”

He agreed and after that they passed the time by talking about some of the strange places he had seen- he tried to leave out most of the creepy details such as the chimeras of the underground to avoid giving the girl any more nightmares than she needed. 

“So what’s Xing like?” He asked after he had finished describing the fallen city of Leore.

“Hmmm,” she mumbled, rubbing sleepily at one eye. “A lot of mountains, a lot of rain. Outside of the Imperial Palace, I haven't seen very many interesting places either. My home town is mostly mountains and ox.”

He laughed. “Sounds like Resembool, my town, except with hills and sheep.”

“Resembool…,” Mei muttered, her eyelids heavy. “Why does that sound familiar to me…,” her own sentence was cut off with a big yawn. She frantically rubbed at her eyes again then asked quickly, “Um… is that where you grew up?”

“It’s okay,” he said softly after a moment and Mei gave him a confused look. “I know what you're doing. You don't have to stay up just cause I can't sleep.”

Mei’s face went bright red and he had to resist a laugh. It must have been well after midnight at this point and he could see the girl desperately fighting to stay awake after such a long day. 

“I didn't want you to be all alone,” she admitted guiltily. 

“That's okay,” he said with a smile in his voice. “I'm used to it and you need your sleep. Tomorrow's going to be a big day, so you should probably try and get some rest.”

“Yeah, you're right.” She agreed and stood and Xiao Mei, who had returned to her master’s lap stirred back awake. Mei perked up like she had gotten an idea and handed the sleepy panda over to Al. “Xiao Mei can keep you company at least.”

“Thanks,” he said, again repressing a laugh- the panda looked so far gone he was sure she had no idea whose company she was in. “Sleep well, I hope you don't have any bad dreams this time.”

Mei had already turned to go but paused, frowning. 

“It's… not my bad dreams that are keeping me up.”

“What?”

“Miss Winry, she… she’s been crying in her sleep. I think she’s really worried after what happened with the Briggs men and your brother.”

Alphonse nodded solemnly. “Yeah, she tends to worry about us a lot.”

“I think the nationwide transmutation circle scares her more than she lets on.”

“Well, yeah, it is pretty scary. Aren't you scared, Mei?” He knew this wasn't her country but she had to have gotten pretty attached to it to stick around.

“I am,” she replied, but then she smiled again, and he really couldn't tell if she was being coy or truly genuine or just teasing him when she said, “But it’s a good thing knowing you’re here to protect us.”

She had gone to bed after that and he spent the rest of the night petting Xiao Mei and feeling a weird sense of pride that she had that much faith in him. This was one of those nights that, had he been able to, he probably would have fallen asleep with a stupid grin on his face.

\---

It was still raining when Alphonse woke up. He was confused about what had happened to all the snow and ice then slowly realized he had merely been dreaming of the days spent in the Northern slums and he was actually in his warm bed back in Resembool. Thunder clapped and he rolled over, almost fully awake. 

Dreaming was still a bit disorienting to him after having gone without it so long. He always questioned why he dreamed what he did when he did. It made sense though that he dreamed of Mei shortly after thinking about her. Why the night in the slums? 

Probably because that was the last time he had really gotten to talk to her before she left their group and then all hell broke loose on the Promised Day and everything had happened so fast. 

Al grumbled and pulled out a clean sheet of paper and started writing without really thinking.

_Mei,_

_I am really sorry if-_

Was as far as he had gotten when Ed strolled in.

“Hey, nice hair,” Ed teased. Al smoothed down his short locks that tended to stick up when he slept. “Whatcha doin’?”

“Nothing,” Alphonse replied with a sigh, crumpling up his letter. Any sane person would just accept that she didn't want to talk to him anymore and move on.

“Still no word from her, huh?” Ed asked in a solemn voice and Al shook his head. Ed used to tease him in the beginning about having a long distance girlfriend and running off to become a prince- but ever since Mei had stopped writing altogether he had cut it out. Alphonse tried to act like it was no big deal but Ed could tell it hurt his little brother’s feelings more than he was letting on.

“It’s fine,” Alphonse said in a forced cheery tone, putting away the rest of his paper and the book he had been writing on, “she probably just got really busy.”

“Yeah… not like taking a second to put that in a letter would take more than a minute, though.”

“Well, she probably has more important stuff than talk to me. She _is_ a princess, brother.”

Ed gave a huff. “No reason to be snotty like one, the little brat.”

“Brother!” Alphonse scolded. “You aren't being fair.”

Alphonse was always the type to be understanding and forgiving, even when he was the one being slighted. Ed, on the other hand, was quick to anger and got snippy on his brother’s behalf.

“I am being fair and she is being a jerk! What's the point in talking to you all this time if she was just gonna up and get bored one day,” he said, flopping onto Al’s bed beside him. “Didn't she even invite you to come study alkahestry with her some day?”

“Yeah, kind of,” Alphonse rubbed at the back of his neck. It has always just been a sort of up in the air invite for whenever he got fully healed. And now that he was practically back in 100% health, he had started entertaining the idea of _actually_ taking her up on it. (Studying alkahestry, alone, under a cute princess? Sign him the hell up!) 

Ed crossed his arms and had his “I’m thinking” expression on. Alphonse could practically see his anger melting away and the gears start turning the way they did when Ed was trying to piece together a difficult puzzle.

“Did she say anything weird in her last letter?”

“No, I had the same thought as well.”

“Did she mention any big ceremonies or obligations coming up?”

“Not really, nothing that could take this long, anyway.”

“Did you like… say something dirty last time?”

“Brother!” Alphonse socked him in the face with a pillow. “It's not like that! And I wouldn't _do_ that!”

Ed chuckled at his brother's blush and outburst. “Hey, I dunno what you like to write about! And I'm just trying to consider every option. If she is just mad at you there has to be a reason, right? Could you have somehow pissed her off?”

Alphonse sat thinking for a minute. “We really mostly just talk about alchemy or daily stuff or stuff I want to do when I'm better…” Alphonse wilted and groaned. “Maybe that's it, maybe I'm boring.”

Edward laughed. “You're not boring, you've just been cooped up here for a while.”

“Yeah,” Al agreed, stretching. “It would be nice to be able to get out of the house and do more than I'm mostly at a normal weight, finally.”

Ed grinned at that and sat up straight. “I've been thinking, we haven't visited the Curtises in a bit. Maybe we should stop in for an extended visit and see if Teacher feels up to kicking both our asses for old time’s sake?”

Alphonse laughed. “That… actually sounds really fun, surprisingly. It’d be nice to fight with someone I can actually lose to,” he added in jest towards Ed.

“Yeah,” Ed said, wrapping his arm around Al’s neck a bit forcefully and ruffling up his hair. “And it'll get your mind off being all broken hearted.”

“I am not heart broken,” he managed as he struggled against Edwards tightening grip. Ed fought back and they quickly devolved into a wrestling tangle of limbs on the floor, laughing, and breaking apart only when Winry walked in to see what the fuss was about.

“Honestly, do boys know how to do anything other than fight each other?” She said with a smirk and a hand on her hip. “What am I gonna do with myself when you two wind up killing each other?”

“Probably be a lot happier,” Edward replied with a chuckle, rubbing the sore spot where Alphonse had elbowed him in the ribs. 

“Ed, did you ever even ask him?”

“Ask me what?”

“Oh! Yeah. The rain’s clearing up a bit and Winry and I were gonna try to catch a movie in town. You want to go?”

Alphonse’s first reaction was to say no, to give them space, but with both of them smiling genuinely at him like that he had to smile back and say, “Yeah, sure. What's playing?”

As the three of them pulled on their shoes and made their way into town, Alphonse reminded himself that his brother and Winry were his friends and did enjoy having him around, so even while he watched them slowly forming into a couple on their own, he was glad he had them, and it helped push the little sting of rejection and loneliness he felt over the Mei situation to the back of his mind for the time being.

He still had friends and loved ones and people who did want to talk to him, and he absolutely, was not, in now way, _heartbroken._

\---

As the Elric-Rockbell trio made their way into town for a night of fun, hundreds of miles away, across the sea of sand that was the great desert, a young girl was getting ready for bed. Dressed in simple silk robes, her long black hair loose from the usual braid she wore, she was alone her little room except for her one best companion, a tiny panda named Xiao Mei.

She sat on her futon with her feet drawn up, mulling over the same thought she had for the past few months, stroking the soft fur on Xiao Mei’s head. She had a stack of letters similar to Alphonse Elric, ones that were stamped in both Amestrian and Xingese, that she held dear to her heart and had read over and over again.

“I don't get it either, Xiao Mei.” Mei asked the little panda at her side. Xiao Mei made some comforting squeaks. “Do you think he hates me?”

Mei sighed and eventually put her letters away, stashing them in a box she kept under her pillow. She had asked the same questions of her little panda and herself for months now and no matter what she came up with she could never truly come up with an answer for: Why, for nearly six months now, had Alphonse Elric stopped writing to her?

As always, she had no answer, merely a deep sorrow in her chest as she finally fell asleep, tears pricking her eyes, confused, sad, and most definitely, heartbroken.


	2. Promise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mei has her own challenges to overcome once she finally gets home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow sorry for the long delay between updates! this is a more Mei-centric chap, and goes into a little detail fleshing out some of the court life stuff. i wanted to put more in this but it is already long and i didnt wanna go into too much detail when not needed lol i enjoy reading about actual ancient chinese royal life and concubines and what not but this is also set in a fantasy world so some of it is based in fact and some is more fiction/fantasy.
> 
> anyway! here goes.

The first thing Ling, Mei, and Lan Fan did when they got back to Xing was announce Ling’s victory at the foot of the Emperor’s councilman's dais. Immediately, the three were swept up in the ensuing chaos of court life as the imperial palace planned to announce the next heir. 

They were separated almost immediately- something that caught Mei off guard. She couldn't really say she considered Ling and Lan Fan _friends_ but they were her allies, and Ling had promised to protect her and her clan, _all_ the clans. But shortly after it was announced that Ling was victorious and had something to present the emperor, Mei was caught up in a flurry of robes and was quickly ushered into a separate hall.

“W-wait!” She called, tears of panic pricking her eyes. She could see Ling being ushered away in a similar manner- but his eyes scanned the crowd for Lan Fan and skipped over Mei completely.

Rough hands pushed and prodded and pulled and maids and men she didn't recognize chattered about her. 

She struggled and tried to ask where they were taking her but she quickly found out once she was roughly shoved into a large bathroom that was more ornate than any building in her whole clan.

Some of the maids and ladies in waiting barked orders for the bathers to clear out and once the room was clear Mei felt several different pairs of hands pulling off her travel stained clothes and pulling out her hair. Then she was being scrubbed from the soles of her feet to the scalp of her head. 

Mei felt like her skin was about to be scrubbed off. After more than a month in the desert she thought she would be grateful for a tub of clean water and a bar of soap but she was starting to think she would prefer sun and sand over this rough treatment. 

As one of the ladies damn near ripped her ear off pulling her close to scrub behind it, Mei squinted through one eye and saw Xiao Mei was getting a similar treatment.

“She’s not going to like that,” Mei called out in warning. The servants gave her a nasty look and dunked the panda under the water. Mei was dunked in a similar fashion, rinsing the suds from her hair. 

When Mei emerged, gasping for breath, the woman holding Xiao Mei was crying out in pain, hand red from the little bite wounds. 

“I tried to warn you,” Mei quipped bitterly.

Soon she was dragged from the water and roughly toweled off. As one woman tousled her hair with a towel another pinched and prodded and took her measurements. Mei tried to cover her breasts as the woman worked but her hands were slapped aside and they were measured as well. 

The lady barked some more orders and a couple maids scurried off while Mei was finally allowed to wrap a towel about herself and was dragged into another chamber where one woman began combing through her hair with oils and tying it in an elaborate style. She was commanded to sit still as someone started painting her face with makeup but she didn't plan on arguing and just sat there dumbfounded. 

The trek across the desert had been laborious but it had also been calm and steady. This sudden rapid fire jerking and pulling and tumbling from here and there was a shell shock in itself and Mei had no idea what was going on. Was Ling getting the same treatment? Where was Lan Fan? Lan Fan needed her automail checked as soon as possible, she didn't need to be alone. They needed to present the stone to the emperor but Ling had the stone- oh no, was Ling safe? Was that why they separated them?

Mei started feeling antsy, never knowing who was friend or foe when she visited the imperial palace. The emperor's wives had the choice of living with their families in their clans and visiting for political occasions and matrimonial visits or having permanent residence in the palace. 

The ones who lived in the palace permanently were the ones to be worried about the most, the ones who were most wrapped up in the spider web of lies and schemes that dominated court life in the palace. Any one of them could easily plan an attack on another’s child who presented a means to appease the emperor before their own. 

Mei looked around nervously for her kunai, never feeling fully safe without them. She began to panic a bit when she couldn’t locate them and feared someone had thrown them out. Just before the woman painting her face roughly jerked her back into place Mei sighed in relief. Her soiled travel clothes had been thrown out but her belongings such as her knives, hair ribbons and beads and box of chalk were all neatly stacked on a cushion.

The maids who had run off before came back with beautiful silks cast over their shoulders and arms. The woman Mei deemed Head Lady shifted through them with deft fingers, tutting about which one looked best or which pattern she deemed most fitting. Mei’s eye caught on a beautiful lapis lazuli piece that had an intricate pattern with cranes and leaves and reached out to it but the Head Lady snatched it away and began dressing Mei in golds and greens and orange. 

_Blegh_. Mei hated orange.

But finally, _finally_ , she was done and for a moment she was able to view herself in the mirror. Xiao Mei’s eyes were big and sparkly as she regarded her master but Mei felt sick.

Her hair was done up in a simple but elegant bun, her face was painted in a traditional fashion with orange eye shadow and red lips. It wasn't the hair or makeup that truly dazzled her though. It was the dress. She was wearing a beautiful hanfu style dress which consisted of layers of silk and long sleeves that dipped down well past her fingertips. It was all a mix of sunset orange and summer green and sky blue with a trim of gold and cords and belts wrapped around her waist. It was the most beautiful thing she had ever worn and was easily more expensive than any of her dresses combined, even the one her family had gifted her on her twelfth birthday.

If she didn't know it was herself she wouldn't have recognized herself. She looked pretty and older but she also didn't look like herself and that felt weird. It was like all the stuff that happened to the girl in Amestris happened to some girl in Amestris and this Xingese princess had no right to request the favor of the emperor because what had she ever done to earn it?

She didn't have long to dwell on that. Soon she was being ushered through the halls, this time with a couple guards at the lead and one at their flank. The Head Lady walked briskly ahead of them all and so Mei tried to keep up but she felt suddenly awkward in the layers of silks, not wanting to step on a dress she did not own. 

She recognized the royal housing quarters, she had spent a lot of time there with her mother as a child, as many of the emperors children had. Sadly, her mother was one of the women who chose to mainly live with her clan and had taken Mei with her when she was still young- she knew chances of finding her mother here now were slim to none. 

She recognized a couple of the wives clustered together and murmuring and giving her smiles that dripped venom as she passed. She was grateful for the guards then. She didn't see her mother or any of her family's servants but finally a couple of the emperor's concubines rounded the corner and Mei smiled. The concubines, whose children had no chance of gaining the throne, had no reason to harm her and were usually overly generous of any of the emperor’s legal children since gaining their favor would only benefit them in the long run.

Mei broke from her troupe for a moment while they were busy discussing something without her to run up to a pretty young woman Mei had seen her mother gossiping with on more than one occasion. She wasn't sure if they were truly friends but at least she would know her.

“Excuse me, ma'am,” Mei said with a small bow. The concubines flinched a bit and looked confused. Princes and Princesses weren't obligated to bow to concubines, just wives. The surrounding wives shot her dirty looks but Mei ignored them and the concubines giggled. “I'm sorry to bother you but is my mother here?”

“Well, hello there, my precious duckling,” the concubine said with a trill of laughter in her voice. “Have you lost your mother, then? And just who may she be?”

“Mei-Hua,” Mei replied simply. She often wondered her mother's own vanity for naming her only daughter after herself but then again she had done the same with her own pet panda. 

The concubine’s eyes lit up in recognition and her voice lost the teasing tone. 

“My goodness, can it be that you're our dear Wa-wa’s little Mei-chan, then? Well, that cannot be because the Mei-chan I know is about the size of the grain of rice and cannot possibly be the beautiful woman I see before me.”

Normally Mei would have beamed at the praise (okay _a lot_ of her mother’s vanity had passed on to her) but she didn't have time for pleasantries. 

“Can you tell her I'm here?” Mei plucked one of the bangles from her wrist and offered it to the concubine as a sort of bribe- concubines were notoriously easy to pay off with jewels and silks and Mei figured one missing bangle wouldn't land her in too much hot water. “Please?”

The concubine smiled and pushed the bangle back towards Mei. “I'll see if I can find her. She was here a few weeks ago but she may have returned to her province by now.”

Mei frowned and slid the bangle back on. The leader of her troupe finally noticed she was missing and called for her to come back.

Before Mei could leave the concubine reached into her own hair and pulled out a pretty but simple hair pin and tucked it into Mei’s own elaborate updo, pretending to be fixing Mei’s hair and buying them some time.

“Don't worry, my little duckling. I'll be sure to find your mother, but for now you need to worry about your father.”

“My father…?”

The concubine continued to fiddle with Mei’s hair as she nodded sharply toward the large double doors at the end of the hall.

“He hasn't been feeling well lately and has a tendency to take it out on visitors. Try to only speak when he addresses you and if in doubt just stay quiet and look pretty- you shouldn't have too much trouble with that, right?” The concubine finished with a wink, done fiddling with her hair. 

Mei gulped, finally realizing what was happening. She was being dolled up to see her _father_. She hadn't expected to have to see him _this_ soon. Why were they going to his personal sleeping quarters and not the receiving room?

Mei felt tears in her eyes at mostly a stranger’s kindness. “Thank you--” she touched the borrowed hairpin gently “--I'll bring this back.”

“Consider it a gift. In exchange, you can tell me what happens in there later, okay?”

Mei nodded and scampered back to her group. She knew the concubine was probably mostly interested in gaining favor and gossip but still the little act of kindness was something to be grateful for.

She was ushered through yet another hallway and they came upon another group and her heart swelled when she recognized who was in the middle of the hubbub.

“Ling!”

Mei never thought she would be grateful to see Ling Yao but as she ran up beside him she had to actually suppress the sudden urge to tackle hug him as she was prone to do. She was relieved to see he had received similar treatment to herself- dressed in a deep blue cheongsam with even deeper blue and green designs. His hair had been unruly and coarse during their trip through the desert but had now been washed and brushed and pulled into a neat bun with a purple ribbon. She’d have thought he looked handsome had she not known who he was.

“Mei,” Ling nodded at her. His voice sounded like she felt- _queasy_. “You look nice.”

“You too,” she said with a watery smile. 

Ling was hardly looking at her. He was glancing above her head and around the room. She knew he wanted to discuss some things before they had to see their father but neither of them were foolish enough to give anything up in front of people. People were already milling around and whispering, shooting them dirty looks or looks of disbelief.

Remembering how the concubine had stalled for time, Mei cleared her throat until she got Ling’s attention then pointedly dropped one of her bangles. Ling got the hint after a second and knelt down to pick it up, taking his time to make a show of gingerly placing it back on his favorite little sister’s wrist.

“Was Lan Fan not with you?” Ling whispered without looking up at her.

“No. They must have split us up on purpose. They wouldn't let me carry my knives. They don't trust us.”

“Same here, they took my sword _and_ my ultimate weapon. It's not like her to not be by my side so promise me you'll help me look for her tonight, okay,” Ling muttered, fiddling with her wrist. Mei nodded.

Almost as soon as Ling stood up they were ushered into the final room and announced properly and for the first time in her life Mei was sitting one on one with her father. She bowed and urged Xiao Mei to stay hidden within the folds of her dress. 

The emperor once had been a formidable man. Standing at 6’3, with broad shoulders and a serious face, he could once shoot fear in anyone’s heart with a simple look. Mei recalled one of the few times she actually remembered her father holding her as a small child and despite his smile his black eyes held no warmth for his offspring nor had she ever seen him grace anyone with a genuine smile or laugh.

The man sitting before her now was like a caricature of the man in her memory. He was still tall but slumped forward as if the weight of the world had gently sloped his back over the years. His long hair was streaked with more grey than black and hung loose about his shoulders. His black eyes were still cold but tinged yellow- a sign of the sickness that threatened to take him. Despite Mei and Ling’s formal attire their father looked like he was greeting them in his pajamas, which seemed to sag off his skinny frame. Mei had heard their father was ill but she hadn’t known how bad his illness was until now. The aura of the room alone was sickly and enough to tell her that he was not long for this world.

No wonder they were meeting in his room. He wouldn't be able to make it out the door on his own.

Mei didn't know what to say but she reminded herself that this was more Ling’s meeting than her own. Their father fixed them both with steady gazes. Mei averted her own but Ling held steady with his own frown.

“So,” the emperor began, “my children. I have been told you have something for me.”

Despite his haggard, sickly appearance, their father still had a voice that could shake any warlord to the core. It wasn't loud or violent but there was a steady underlying confidence that clearly said _I can and will kill you where you stand so best not provoke me_.

Ling said nothing, merely fished the little vial with the philosopher’s stone and set it on the table.

“And this is…?” The emperor asked after regarding the stone in silence for a few minutes, his expression unchanging. 

“A way to immortality,” Ling said simply, fists clenching atop his thighs.

“Is it now,” the emperor replied in a skeptical voice. “Excuse me for doubting you, my son, but I think I may need a better explanation than that.”

“It’s … a philosopher’s stone.”

The emperor looked a lot more intrigued after that.

Mei tried not to look her father in the eye as Ling explained as best he could what the stone was and how it worked while never giving away what it was made from or how he had truly obtained it. 

The emperor himself had no training in alkahestry but the legend of the philosopher’s stone was one known throughout the land by anyone who had even a basic knowledge of the art of alkahestry- _especially_ by someone who had been seeking a means to immortality. 

Mei had been adamant that they could not reveal that the stone was made from human lives and she was grateful that Ling had wholeheartedly agreed with her. They both knew the kind of man their father was. So, she listened to Ling recount his altered tale of their adventures in Amestris- leaving out anything that would connect them to any of the people they had left behind. She was shocked when Ling decided to glance over the fact that he had harbored a homunculus inside his body for months (honestly, he seemed kind of _proud_ of it) but she knew that all their father was concerned with was his own life.

 _What if he doesn’t believe us?_ A sudden panicked thought struck her as she listened to the absurdity of the tale even with the weirdest parts left out. Even without telling of the homunculi, the demon that was Father, the being that had almost succeeded in consuming god, their tale sounded farfetched. Maybe even more so with all the important bits left out.

In the end their tale boiled down to this: _Our paths crossed in Amestris, we united in an attempt to find the stone, we ran across some knowledgeable alchemists and managed to use them to track down the stone. Some of their enemies tried to stop us and many people got hurt, but we made it out alive with the stone in hand. They had seen the stone create miracles and thought it may be able to extend the Emperor’s life._

Mei could hear their father’s laborious breathing grow even more laboured as Ling progressed through his tale. She chanced a glance up and saw the man staring at the philosopher’s stone with a fiery glint in his eye. All doubts of him not believing their tale washed away- his eyes reminded her of the way Ling’s had when he harbored that _thing_. Greedy. 

The eyes of a man who was desperate and willing to believe just about anything.

\---

When Mei was finally allowed to leave, her legs felt like jelly and her stomach squirmed but she was relieved to be breathing air that wasn’t stale and sweet with the rank of sickness.

Mei hardly had a chance to speak during the meeting for which she was ultimately grateful. Ling would of course be the one accredited to obtaining and presenting the stone but he had been sure to include Mei’s contributions so she too would be held in high regards.

As she and Ling left their father’s bed chambers, he quickly pulled her aside down a mostly abandoned corridor. Mei was getting _really_ sick of being yanked around.

“You alright?” Was what Ling asked first, and that made her irritation diminish a bit. He must have been able to see her nerves and nausea even through all her make up. Mei just nodded and Ling offered up one of his trade mark grins.

“Yeah, he always makes me wanna piss my pants, too,” Ling said with a short laugh. His eyes soon grew serious again and his tone lowered despite them being alone. “He’s going to want to use the stone. Tonight.”

“I know.” 

“Remember what we discussed before? In the desert?”

Mei nodded, feeling grim.

“Do you still want to go through with it?” 

Ling’s voice portrayed that he wouldn’t make her do anything she didn’t want to do, but she also knew: she didn’t really have a choice. 

So she said, “Of course.” Ling smiled, it was the answer he had wanted to hear.

Mei felt her stomach flutter in anticipation of what she was dubbing mentally _the plan_. They had been able to convince their father of the stone’s abilities without giving too many key aspects of _how_ it was used. They also told him they knew how to use it, though. How to grant him immortality.

Ling nodded again. “Okay. I’m going to try and find Lan Fan before then. Normally, I’d say she would find us first, but her arm is in pretty nasty shape. Will you help me look for her, still?”

Mei said she would and they decided on the best time to reconvene before breaking apart

After that she was mostly left to her own devices, but she felt a lot of eyes on her at once, even when she thought she was alone. Being a princess from a low ranking clan, she was used to no one really noticing her or what she did. This time she felt like _everyone_ was watching her.

She wanted to find her mother but she needed to find Lan Fan first. Sadly, she had no idea where she would be. Would she be taken to the medical wing? Or held for questioning? 

Mei popped into the medical wing but didn't find any traces of Ling’s body guard. She debated on asking someone if anyone had seen her but she received mostly suspicious looks and decided to hold her tongue.   
\---  
Somehow, on her quest for Lan Fan, Mei managed to run into her mother. Almost literally.

She rounded a corner and almost bumped into her own mother. Mei felt relief wash over her as she finally found a familiar, friendly face. 

“Mei!” The older woman exclaimed when she finally recognized the girl in the dress, tears pricking her eyes. “I've been looking for you everywhere! Oh, my precious girl, I've missed you so much.”

She was scooped up into a big hug and suddenly Mei felt very young again in her mother’s arms. She felt tears well up in her eyes unbidden and the weight of all that had happened in Amestris, the people she had to leave behind, returning to help Amestris even though she had a philosopher's stone in her grasp, the fear of what was to become of her clan all washed over her at once and she couldn't fight back the sobs that tore from her throat.

“I'm sorry,” was all she could manage, tears streaking her face. “I'm sorry, I'm sorry.”

Her mother pulled her aside and lead her to an empty room and tried to console the girl as best she could. _It's okay, it's okay_ , she heard her mother murmur in her ear, a warm hand stroking her back. 

But it wasn't okay, Mei thought. She had returned a failure. 

\---

Eventually Mei sobered up and her mother took her by the hand and began to lead her away. Mei had been so lost in her little breakdown that she had momentarily forgotten about her mission.

“Mama, wait, I have to find someone-” 

She was cut off by her mother’s knowing wink. Mei silently followed her mother after that and soon they were in one of the sleeping chambers that housed many of the concubines. Mei looked about a bit, confused, various women scattered about a room full of similar looking beds. Why had her mother brought her here? What were they-

“Lan Fan!” Mei gasped and ran up to her friend.   
Lan Fan was resting on one of the beds, looking feverish, but otherwise well and clean. She was surrounded by a group of women- a couple of whom seemed to be treating Lan Fan’s damaged arm, the rest just seemed curious. 

Lan Fan sat up and gripped at her automail at Mei’s approach. 

“Mei. Where is the Young Lord?”

“Looking for you,” Mei replied and they exchanged knowing looks. Of course they brought her here, men weren't allowed here. 

_They really are keeping us separated_. Mei thought. _They don't trust us._

“Thank you all,” Mei said with a small bow, and began removing her cumbersome gown (she had already cried off most of the make up). “I can take over from here.”

The women frowned but weren't about to argue with one of the royal heirs so everyone but Mei’s mother gave them some distance. Mei-Hua busied herself pulling some curtains about the bed for privacy.

“There's a lot I need to tell you,” Mei said quietly as she began setting up an alkahestry array to heal Lan Fan’s arm. “Both of you, but Lan Fan is more important right now. Lan Fan, will you be able to move by tonight?”

“I will,” Lan Fan replied with the determination Mei had come to expect from her. Mei nodded, then leaned in and whispered something that was for her ears only, thankful that the room was too busy for anyone else to hear them. 

\---  
\---

On their third day in Xing, Mei was exhausted. Mentally, emotionally, physically- preparing for the death of an emperor was time consuming and hectic in a way she had never considered.

It was well past nightfall when she was allowed to return to her own room. She changed into her sleeping robe and let her hair down and attempted to settle into bed- but despite her exhaustion she couldn't sleep. She had too much on her mind.

Mei had made a lot of friends during her time in Amestris- people she cared for deeply and yet had to leave behind. Her duty to her people always came first, of course, but she couldn't help but worry about those she left in the wake of the Promised Day.

She worried about Alphonse Elric in particular. He had been so kind and brave, not only protecting her but sacrificing himself to save everyone else- Mei’s heart ached at the thought of him never returning.

Luckily he _had_ returned, but the boy who replaced the tall, gallant suit of armor was no where near what Mei had expected. The Alphonse who came back was thin and frail and obviously suffering- it had been over a month since she had last seen him, would he be any better now? Or worse?

That thought alone was enough to jolt Mei upright in bed as panic struck her along with a realization. She had seen the same haggard, sunken eyed look on her father as he lay on his deathbed. Surely her dear Alphonse would only be getting better from here on out… Right?

Mei’s overactive imagination was enough to drive her to dig out some paper and start penning a letter by candlelight. She was halfway through explaining everything that had happened when she paused and gave her letter a scrupulous stare. 

The people in the palace still didn't trust her or Ling. She couldn't afford to trust them either, so she held the letter up to the candle and let the flames devour it. 

She restarted, leaving out any crucial details that may raise suspicion, and focused on asking about Alphonse himself, since that was her true motive anyway. She trusted Alphonse beyond a shadow of a doubt but would have to leave the rest to be told in person someday.

She paused at that- _would_ she be seeing Alphonse Elric again? He lived across the desert, and was in no shape to be travelling any time soon. He had briefly mentioned coming to her for alkahestry once in the North, but had he really meant it?

Mei snapped out of her reverie when she heard someone walking in the hall. She decided then that yes, she definitely would see her friend again, somehow, and quickly signed her letter. 

By the time the maid entered her room to check on the light, Mei was curled up around Xiao Mei, feigning sleep perfectly, a wisp of smoke rising from the blown out candle. Her letter was secretly folded beneath her pillow, signed _Until I see you again_ as a sort of promise to him and herself.


End file.
